Resolving Your Family Law Situation

Initial Considerations

Family law situations are all different.  Some are long term and plainly evident breakdowns that both parties inevitably know need to end.  Some are sudden and shocking, such as the disclosure of an affair, or one party announcing their departure out of the blue.  While it is difficult (and unwise) to suggest a set strategy for all divorce cases, here are some basic considerations to consider upon the demise of your marriage.

1. Is a ‘Knee-jerk’ reaction necessary?

In the case of the slowly deteriorating marriage, often the parties have plenty of time to discuss and plan an amicable, mature and hopefully cost efficient split.  Unfortunately this is seldom the case.  Many parties involved in bad relationships resort to threats and uneducated statements out of fear or attempts to intimidate each other.  At some point and time these ‘adults’ are going to have to realize that a divorce fight is extremely tough on the psyche and even tougher on the wallet.  Even more so where children are involved. Again, mature separation and settlement is the easiest and cheapest method to end a relationship.  If this is not possible, or you are unsure, I would recommend you consult 3 family law lawyers (on a free consultation basis!) as to where you stand.

In any situation where your assets (bank accounts, loans, investments, credit cards, line of credit), personal safety, or home living arrangements are in jeopardy, one should always retain a lawyer as soon as possible to take steps to protect your situation.

2. What Will Happen?

There are basically 3 scenarios that can play out in resolving a family law situation.  You have the following options:

1.   Do nothing – usually not a good option and resolves nothing

2.  Negotiate a settlement of the issues – this requires 2 mature adults, willing to cooperate and negotiate.  Having 1 willing adult doesn’t work.  Options to negotiate include:

a.     Parties negotiate themselves

b.    Use of lawyers to negotiate a resolution

c.     Use of professionals such as mediators to negotiate a resolution

d.    Use of court appointed “counselors” to negotiate a resolution

3.  If #2 isn’t an option, you are only left with the Court Process to resolve your issues – this can get expensive and is very stressful

3. What are Common Issues I Need to Resolve

Again, while every situation is different, common issues are:

1.  Children

2.  Support

3.  Residency

4.  Division of Assets

5.  Apportionment of Debts

4. What is the Easiest & Cheapest Way to Resolve Everything?

Depending on your particular situation, separation agreements can be drawn up to resolve all issues arising from your relationship breakdown.  It is highly recommended (but not necessary) they be signed by lawyers so you have “independent legal advice” on your settlement.  There are many online resources as to what matters should be in a separation agreement and parties can prepare them on their own.  However nothing will replace the experience of a trained family law lawyer as to what is best for your particular situation.  If you wish to save time and money with your family law lawyer, find out what issues need to be resolved first, and discuss them with your partner prior to visiting the lawyer, so you have an idea what result you would like to see happen.

5. Decree for Divorce 

Once your issues are resolved through a separation agreement, the only matter left to resolve is if you are going to get a formal divorce from your spouse.  You do not need to get a divorce.  You can stay married to that person the rest of your life, but it only takes one party to request the actual divorce decree and they will be granted it whether you disapprove or not. Most divorces (if there are no other issues such as kids or assets to deal with) can be done by way of ‘Desk Divorce’ which does not require a lawyer and is done by the completion and filing of paperwork at your local court registry.  You will need an original of your marriage certificate (provincial license) which can be obtained from the Department of Vital Statistics in BC. For more details of law visit: Shawn Dickson Swail